Everyday

My heart is tired. My mind exhausted. So tired. I try to do what is right, only finding that I fail. Over and over. Knowing what it is that I should do but don't, and instead doing what I hate. Fearing my fears. Holding tight to emptiness. Tension builds pushing love aside. Little faces show anger and hate, mirroring my spirit. I grow rigid, knowing my influence on their little lives. Controlling sin I hate. Battling, I fight it daily. Wrestling it to win, but only finding that I succumb to it. Yielding to its vicious ways. So broken. So bound. So tired of this war.

So easily is forgotten the victory already won. Mercies that are new every morning. The sweet taste of surrender into the arms of the victor. The ever flowing fountain of grace. Forgiveness that knows no boundary. And the Love. Love that drives out all fear. How easily I give this up to amnesia. Looking blindly into abundant creation, I turn my back on what is easily found if only I look.

He waits for me. With arms wide. For me to come back. Everyday.