Time with my Father

I sat with My Father at the kitchen table last night, after a long "stupid Mommy" day with many regrets and failures. With choking sobs, I listen to His words. They hurt as the the truth stabs my pride, exposing my sin. I face my brokenness with deep sorrow. However, as He speaks, His voice is not of disappointment or frustration. His speech is only that of love and grace as we share Psalm 51 together.

Father, please have mercy on me. What a terrible day I have had. I have made such mistakes. You say that your love is unfailing and that you are compassionate.
Please take away my sin. My life needs such cleaning of the stupid things I do. Please wash me and help me start new tomorrow.
I know I will sin again tomorrow and each day that is to come.
And every time I sin, it is really only against you, My Father. I am so sorry. I have no ideas the depths of my sin and what you have paid for them.
I have sinned ever since I was a child, yet you have loved me
and have desired me to know you. You never give up on me and teach me wisdom through these moments.
In the depths of my sorrow and pain from running from you, you clean me freely with love and forgiveness and I am new.
In my brokenness I finally remember how much I need you and I want to hear joy and gladness again.
Erase my sins from your thoughts
and give me a new heart, Father. I want a spirit that runs after you!
Don't ever leave me. I need you.
Make new the joy I have from your salvation and give me a willing spirit to follow you.
Then I will teach my children your ways so that they will know you.
Deliver me from this guilt I live with each day - of the sin I saturate the world with. You are my Savoir and I love who You are.
I will speak of you greatness each day, because of what you have done for me.
You need not of any of my sacrifices.
You just want me. This is all you want. You love when I come back to you. I give you the broken pieces of my soul and you restore me. My Creator.


I feel like singing. Sorrow and burdens are no more. My Fathers shows me how He sees me. Beautiful. Lovely. Worth it.

In my mistakes He is there. He wants to walk this life with me. He wants to take my burdens and let me run free.

Oh why do I run away so often? Being with Him is the best place to be.