A lesson learned... again.

Despite how much I want to hide this past moment in my life, I know that what I chose to do is not uncommon among parents. And, by sharing this moment, I can also share what was revealed to me because of my faults: my pride, impatience, and sinful nature.

I was just finishing reading bedtime stories to Trinity after a very good, but long day. Tiredness was present in both of us, and so, she was up to playing games and arguing everything, from “one more story” to “I can’t walk; carry me”. After countless whines and pouts (on both parts, I’m sure), we finally headed up to bed. With one last attempt, as I opened the bedroom door, Trinity screamed, “Let MEEEE DO IT!” And with that, I swatted her bum out of anger. Ughhhh.

That very moment, even in the “swing” of things, I knew what I was doing was wrong. However, I knew this was a moment - a teaching moment - for both of us, and I couldn’t - wouldn’t - pass it up.

Like so often, I wanted to tell her, it was because of HER that made me lose my temper. SHE shouldn’t have pushed my buttons, SHE should have used her manners, SHE could have chosen a better choice…

But, instead, I did what is so SO hard to do. I sat her on my lap, right there on the stairs, and told her what I did was wrong, I made a bad choice, I sinned.

And through her tears she said, “It’s okay, Mama, Jesus died to take away your sins.”

And then, through my own tears, I asked for her forgiveness, which she so easily gave. (Why is it so hard for grown-ups to forgive?)

And then, it was time for me to tell her that not only did she need help in this life, but I did just as much. We both need a rescuer, someone to help us, guide us, direct us, love us, forgive us…

We will never be perfect, good enough, or worth it in this world. We will always stumble, fail, and mess up. Thankfully, THANKFULLY, it doesn’t matter. Because HIS grace abounds, HIS forgiveness never ceases, and HIS love overflows.

Trinity and I said good-night to each other with smiles and hugs, because we both went away knowing that we are loved, forgiven and rescued.

In God’s eyes we are perfect, good enough, and worth it. He thinks so much of us that he sent his only son to die for us, to take the punishment for our sins, so that we could be with him once again.

Thank you, Lord, for your grace, grace that we surely do not deserve, but that you so freely give. I am no different than my own daughter, who makes poor choices, pushes your buttons, and messes up time after time again. Thank you for your unfailing patience with me and your forgiveness that you so easily give.